Everybody that comes to Ireland seems to be under the illusion that the natives are very welcoming, kind, polite and good-natured. This of course is not true.

This pretence is ingrained in Irish culture to extract as much advantage and profit from the unwary visitor as is humanly possible. After all, it is easier to find out about a person’s life and wealth if they think that they are amongst friendly people that actually give a shit about them for absolutely no reason. Then it is possible to access the resources of said visitor voluntarily without painful loud screaming and/or a large red liquidy mess on the carpet. Slick, huh!

Visiting people need to realise that no human being, no matter where they are from, are nice and pleasant for no reason (except perhaps the senile or insane), and you should cop on or you’ll get fucked over (and not in a good way!).

To truly understand the Irish psyche and way of being, and to protect oneself from the odd total bastid, one should read at least a couple of Irish fairy tales that include a leprechaun as the central character. If you understand how a leprechaun operates and conducts themselves, you are in the zone to know how most Irish people operate. Most Irish people were read these tales then they were very young, and the ways of the leprechaun have stuck, and live on, in the minds of the Irish natives.

NO SHIT!!!

Skangers:

Also, you will have to endure the scourge and plague of Ireland that is the ‘SKANGERS’. These are similar to the British CHAV. They dress in baseball caps and sport gear, which is handy for escaping from the law.

Their accent is almost impossible to understand, and they find this helpful. It makes them angry when they can’t get their point across. This happens very often. Violent, racist and very stupid, they are best avoided unless you have a gun and a lot of ammo (or if you’re a masochist).